Dancing in the Rain
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A Trisomy 18 Journey

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain. -- Vivian Greene

Friday, October 16, 2015

Capture Your Grief Day 15

Wave of Light for International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day

In honor of Julia and the many, many other precious ones gone too soon, we participated in this year's Wave of Light. All around the world at 7 PM candles were lit. As 7 PM arrived in each time zone, the wave of light moved forward. What a beautiful image. 

Monday, October 12, 2015

Capture Your Grief Day 12

Normalizing Grief

I never could have imagined living with this kind of grief before I was forced to. I didn't know what an "angelversary" was or realize that there can be so many triggers. I still struggle with telling new friends about Julia. Thinking about Julia, though, comes very easily and naturally to me. When taking family photos I am always very aware that she is not with us. Often, we make room for her with a photo or a butterfly or a stuffed bear or even just by leaving an empty space for her. She is loved and missed. 

Capture Your Grief Day 11

Glow in the Woods

This post is about recognizing the person/group/organization that helped me on my journey. I must list my fellow trisomy families. Most of these families I met through online groups. Last summer I was able to meet many families in person at the SOFT (Support Organization for Trisomy) Conference. 
There is an instant connection and sense of community between the trisomy families. The other families share their wisdom and experience. We share our fears and our joys. We celebrate together and mourn together. I'm very thankful for this group!

Some of the families at the SOFT annual picnic and balloon release. 

Capture Your Grief Day 9


Here is our family today. Look closely. You can see Julia in Cohen's eyes and hair. She's in Isaac's smile and Sydney's face. And, of course, we all carry her in our hearts. 

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Capture Your Grief Day 7


I remember how precious Sydney and Isaac were with Julia. The tone in their voices, the gentleness in their movements, and the love on their faces made clear how they felt about their sister. She felt the same way about them. She would look around when she heard their voices specifically. She would smile at them more readily than at anyone else. Their love for each other was/is so honest, simple, and pure. I cherish it. 

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Capture Your Grief Day 5


My dear friend, lifeline, and fellow trisomy mom. Knowing you are not alone is so powerful. Patricia entered my life with her darling Isabella soon after Julia passed away and she has been a constant for me ever since that winter day in February. Although many miles now separate us, we hold our friendship as a treasured gift from our daughters. 

Friday, October 2, 2015

Capture Your Grief Day 2


In honor of Julia, I intend to be more open and vulnerable about Julia's life and this journey with new friends and with new communities of people. 
I met a new friend at another friend's birthday dinner recently and somehow knew I should tell her about Julia. As soon as I did, she shared with me that a couple of months before she had a son born still. This is still new for her and she is learning how to live with this new reality. She is a strong, smart, amazing person who I am now blessed to call my friend. Julia's life keeps giving...

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Capture Your Grief Day 1


Duck, NC 
August 2015

I spent many many hours thinking about Julia on the beaches of the Outer Banks over the last five years. I planned for her, carried her, prayed for her, cried for her, hoped for her, loved her, gave thanks for her, grieved for her, missed her, remembered her. I search for seashells and think of her. I write her name in the sand. I see butterflies and dolphins and rainbows on the beach and think of her. I see her in the faces of her siblings. We all carry her with us.