Our Day

This year we had hoped to return to NYC for Julia's birthday, but since the 30th of November coincided with Thanksgiving weekend, we decided against it. We thought there would be too many people  and too much traffic coming back home. We decided instead to stay local and just spend all day together. We first took the kids to their favorite bagel shop for breakfast. Next, we ventured into the mall for a visit to Build-a-Bear. It's pretty fun for all of the kids to receive a present on Julia's birthday! Next we had lunch and watched Isaac play in his indoor soccer game. We then went to the cemetery to take balloons to Julia's grave site. While there we released three purple balloons in honor of her third birthday. We proceeded to the Christmas tree farm where we found the perfect tree. Finally, we came home and ate a steak dinner and some Baked by Melissa cupcakes while enjoying the amazing finish to the Auburn-Alabama game. 

Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers. We received texts, calls, fb messages, and emails throughout the day. We are thankful that you remember Julia and us on this special day.

We had a good day. All together. Happy birthday, sweet Julia!

The Third

Dear Julia,
Today is your third birthday!
I think often of all the fun things three year olds can do and I miss you.
I then think of how precious three year olds with trisomy 18 are and I miss you.
We miss out on so much not having you here with us.
But today we choose to celebrate you on your third birthday.

 Although you are never far from our thoughts and always in our hearts, 

today we will remember you and the life we shared with you; 

we remember what you taught us and the gifts you gave us, 

and we will cherish being together as a family.
There will be birthday balloons, purple flowers, and miniature cupcakes.

That's what we would do with you here, too -- celebrate you and us. 

We love and miss you. Sending you many hugs and kisses.

Happy birthday, dear Julia, happy birthday to you. 

To read Julia's birth story, click here.

To read about how we celebrated Julia's first birthday, click here and here.

5 Days until 3 Years

Julia, like most babies, loved to hear "baby talk." She especially responded to baby talk by Sydney and Isaac. They had the sweetest way of talking to and interacting with her. She would look for them when she heard them around the house and would zero in on them when they talked to her. I also loved to hear Sydney and Isaac talk to Julia. Their love for her, their baby sister, was so evident in their words, their tone, and their gestures. I am thankful that they were so willing to love her with their whole hearts. I am very proud of all of them. 

Cohen at 18 Months

At 18 months I Can...

- walk

- run

- dribble a soccer ball (in a toddler kind of way)

- say about 30 words

- express my opinion in words and actions

- climb

- follow simple instructions

- eat with my 12-going-on-14 teeth

Likes:

- Sydney and Isaac (or Syd and Iyaac, as Cohen says)

- chocolate

- yogurt

- scrambled eggs

- cars (ride-on and toy cars)

- balls

- outside 

- going to the bus stop

- bath

- dancing 

- books

- "helping" put away the laundry

- playing piano with Sydney

- shoes

- Gymboree class

- playing with his friend Cody

- peekaboo 

Dislikes:

- getting into his car seat

- going to bed

- changing clothes

- diaper changes

- going inside after playing outside

- staying in a cart or stroller for very long

- staying still for photos 

Cohen is a fun little guy who is always on the go. His words are precious to hear and his different tones are very communicative on their own. He keeps us busy, keeps us laughing and smiling, and keeps us young. 

Day 14: Family

Here is a photo of my family taken a few months ago. My older two kids are growing up and my rainbow baby, Cohen, is now a toddler! Julia will always be a part of us and our story. 

Photo by Stefanie Harrington Photography

This post is part of Carly Marie's Capture Your Grief Photography Challenge in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. To learn more please visit http://carlymarieprojectheal.com. 

Christmas Card 2012

Stationery card

View the entire collection of cards.

NYC

Our family spent Julia's birthday this year in NYC. We wanted to look forward to and enjoy our girl's special day. We wanted to be together. We wanted to live and be adventurous. Taking an eight year old, five year old, and six month old to New York seemed adventurous to us! Marc took the day off and the older kids missed a day of school. We were joined by my brother and sister-in-law. We planned a weekend of sight seeing, good eating, and new experiences. We remembered Julia's birthday and ate tiny cupcakes in her honor. We toasted her life over a lovely Italian dinner. We sent kisses to her from the top of the Empire State Building. We marveled at the twinkling Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center. We enjoyed the beauty of Central Park. And so it was a happy day, just as it should be.
We love you, Julia!

On Her Second Birthday

Nov 30, 2011 ~ Julia's 1st Birthday

My Sweetest Julia,
Today is your second birthday. We are thinking of you so much today (even more than usual!) and missing you tons! We are also celebrating you today. Dad, Syd, and Isaac all took the day off so that we could all be together on your special day.
I know that you would want us to be happy on your birthday even though we are missing you. Because your birth and your birthday should be celebrated, we made a list of things about our time together that we are thankful for.
I am thankful for your smile and that you blessed us with so many of them!
Cohen is thankful that he is your baby brother and that you were the first of his siblings to know he was coming! He also thanks you for all of the fun toys!
Sydney is thankful that you are her sister and that you are a miracle!
Isaac is thankful that you were with us for a whole year and two weeks.
Daddy is thankful for all of the quality late night time you two had together.
Most of all we are thankful to be your family. We love you so much, sweet girl.
Happy 2nd birthday to you. Sending lots of love, kisses, and hugs to you today.

Love you forever,
Mommy

Day 24: Siblings

 Day 24: Siblings

Sydney, Isaac, Julia - Dec 2010

Feb 2011

April 2011

July 2011

Sydney, Isaac, Julia - Nov 2011

Sydney, Isaac, and Cohen

To read a post written by big sister Sydney earlier this year, please click here.


October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. This national observance month was established in 1988 by President Reagan.  This post is part of Carly Marie's "Capture Your Grief" 31 day photography project for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

Day 22: Place of Care

 Day 22: Place of Care

Our home

We were very blessed to be able to spend Julia's year with us at home. 

After her discharge from the hospital following her birth, Julia never spent another night in the hospital. 

As we contemplate and try to prepare to move to a new home in the coming year, I struggle with even the idea of leaving this house. 

Her house. Our house together. 

The only house all four of our children will have lived in. 

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. This national observance month was established in 1988 by President Reagan.  This post is part of Carly Marie's "Capture Your Grief" 31 day photography project for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

Day 18: Family Portrait

Day 18: Family Portrait

This is our last family portrait, taken on Julia's 11 month birthday. I was pregnant with Cohen, so he is kind of in the photo, too. I am so thankful to have this picture of all of us.

This is a photo of our family taken this fall with Julia's photo.

We are having family pictures taken this weekend and are trying to decide how best to include our beloved girl. We love you, Julia!!

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. This national observance month was established in 1988 by President Reagan.  This post is part of Carly Marie's "Capture Your Grief" 31 day photography project for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

Day 11: Supportive Friends/Family

 Day 11: Supportive friends and family

We have received so much support -- before Julia, while she was here, and after she passed away.
My immediate family -- my husband, Marc, and my older children, Sydney and Isaac.  We stayed close together and we all lovingly made many sacrifices to care for Julia together.
Our family members -- especially my sister, my mom, and Marc's mom, all of whom spent many days here with us in spite of living far away. Thank you also to their spouses (and kids) for making it possible for them to be here so much. All of our family members near and far made great efforts to come and meet Julia. She was blessed to be able to meet all of her grandparents and great-grandparents, many cousins, and several aunts and uncles.
Our church family supported us with prayers, friendship, faith, and strength.
Our neighbors and local friends supported us in our every day life by bringing food, watching our older kids and even sometimes Julia, carpooling, doing yard work, giving us a baby shower, and celebrating all of Julia's milestones and important days.
Our "faraway friends" made the journey to meet Julia from as far as Alaska!  Many other friends sent cards and emails and called to check in. Julia received hundreds of birthday cards from all over the country on her first birthday!
Our trisomy family from all over the world has walked this road before, with, and behind us. They offer wisdom, encouragement, tears, hugs (real and virtual!), and a unique understanding of what we face at every step.
We are thankful that such a generous and inspiring community has been given to us on this journey.




October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. This national observance month was established in 1988 by President Reagan.  This post is part of Carly Marie's "Capture Your Grief" 31 day photography project for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

Day 3: After Loss Self Portrait

Day 3: After Loss Self Portrait

This is a series of photos beginning with the time just after we learned that Julia would have multiple birth defects that pointed to a chromosomal disorder. That was when the grief began-- the fear and feelings of loss -- when I was 23 weeks pregnant.

This photo was taken the day we were given a diagnosis of trisomy 18. Julia was one day old.

This photo was taken when we brought Julia home. She was 3 days old here. We were told she would only live a few days.

Julia lived a beautiful 12.5 months. I have many photos that are not full of grief although grief was never far away. Here is one:

This is a photo taken less than 2 weeks after we lost Julia. we took our older kids to Disney World to get away (and be distracted!) and to do something we could not do while Julia was with us. I needed to hold on to my older kids even tighter and to take care of myself for the little one I was carrying.

Finally, this is a photo of me and my "rainbow baby."  He was born nearly 5 months after we lost Julia.

And the journey continues...

Week 14

Cohen is getting old enough now for more outings, so this week we enjoyed a couple of days at the pool with Sydney and Isaac and friends. Cohen is growing more and more interactive everyday and it's so much fun to see him respond to each of us. He brings so much joy!

Weeks 11 and 12

Cohen's weeks number 11 and 12 were spent visiting family in Alabama. Cohen visited his second beach, this time at St. Andrews State Park in Panama City, Florida. He even took his first boat ride at the beach on his Poppa's boat. We also visited the lake for a weekend. Cohen enjoyed relaxing at Nana's lake house while the big kids tried out the jet ski, tube, and knee board with Uncle Press. We attended the wedding of my cousin, Mollie, and Cohen was able to meet lots of new old friends.
We spent many days playing with the cousins and visiting grandparents and great-grandparents. We had lots of fun and are now glad to be home!

Weeks 8 and 9

Week 8: Cohen celebrated his first Fourth of July with a couple of neighborhood parties. It was a hot one, but he was a trooper. He turned in before the big fireworks got started, though.
We had the pleasure to introduce Cohen to Isabella this week. Isabella is 7 months old and, like Julia, has trisomy 18. Seeing these two precious babies together was very special to me. We all love you, Isabella!

Week 9: This week we took our first road trip and beach vacation with Cohen. We were joined at Corolla Beach, NC by Cohen's Nana and Grandad; Aunt Jodie, Uncle Press, cousins Nora, Eli, and Grady; Uncle Jamey and Aunt Naomi; Aunt Jennifer, and Uncle Nathan. It was a full house! Cohen climbed the lighthouse at Corolla (with Daddy's help), visited the giant sand dunes at Jockey's Ridge, and sat on the shore enjoying the sounds of the wind and surf!

Outer Banks Revisited

Two years ago we took our first vacation to the beaches of the Outer Banks in North Carolina. I was pregnant with Julia, and we had just that day learned of Julia's heart defect and suspected chromosomal disorder. We had to decide quickly about the amniocentesis as I was nearly 24 weeks along. At that time the docs strongly suspected Trisomy 21, or Down Syndrome. Oh, how I wish they had been right about that! We were back and forth about the amnio decision-- not because we would have chosen to terminate but because of the risk. I ultimately decided against the amnio and decided to prepare for a baby with DS and heart problems. Of course the subsequent appointments with the perinatologists showed more and more problems that would be more consistent with trisomy 18. Sometimes I wish I would have had the amnio and would have been able to prepare for Julia's diagnosis. Ultimately it did not make a big difference. We were devastated to learn of her diagnosis after birth, but either way we could not have had any idea that she would live with us for a year. Especially with her specific set of heart defects. But she did.
Last summer we visited the beach with Julia, but this time it was in Florida. It was so special to be with her at the beach and know that she experienced such a beautiful place.
This summer we are again vacationing at the Outer Banks. This time our little rainbow baby, Cohen, is with us. And so are our memories of sweet Julia.

July 4th

Remembering our Julia from last July -- she was especially smiley on this day at the lake! I love this photo of her in her red, white, and blue swimsuit! We miss our girl so much -- sending you much love and hugs, Julia!

Today we are also remembering sweet Lilly, aka "Little Firecracker" on her birthday. She and Julia arrived in heaven only hours apart. Sending hugs to Lilly and to Lilly's family on this special day.

Weeks 6 & 7

Week 6: Cohen smiled for the first time! He has been making some very sweet cooing sounds, too. He especially likes watching and listening to his mobile.  He also attended Sydney's dance recital and Sydney's birthday party at Pump It Up. Nana came for her second visit since Cohen was born and we had a great time!

(We also bought a new computer and have been transferring things over which is why week 6 is bundled with 7!)

Week 7: Cohen rolled over for the first time! It seemed intentional, and we will have to see when he does it again. He made it to another of Sydney's recitals -- piano this time! He was very well-behaved.  We had a fun visit from Gma and Gpa from Illinois and great-Grandma from Kentucky when they came to meet Cohen! 

Week 4

Week 4 brought a visit from Poppa and Aunt Jodie! Cohen got lots of extra attention, as did Sydney and Isaac. Cohen also attended (slept through) Isaac's last tee ball game and team party. He is growing well -- so much so that it seems to be interfering with his sleeping! We will catch up...one day. :)