Dancing in the Rain
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A Trisomy 18 Journey

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain. -- Vivian Greene

Friday, March 16, 2012

Three Months

March 2011

March 2011

Today marks three months since we lost Julia. That day was a Friday, too.  I find every Friday morning since that day to be hard.  It's like my heart remembers before my head, and I just wake up feeling sad and exhausted.  Thankfully, Isaac is home on Fridays to keep me company and keep me moving. Three months seems like forever these days and at the same time I am surprised that three months could already have gone by.  My sense of time is really just off.  Counting up the weeks since we lost Julia and at the same time counting down the weeks until we meet our baby boy -- this is a very strange place to be.

In the past month, I have had the privilege to meet a sweet baby girl with Trisomy 18 who just celebrated her three month birthday this week. She and her family live about half an hour from us, so it is easy to visit.  This precious baby has many of the same struggles that Julia did those first few months. Being with her and her family has provided some unexpected healing for me in this journey. I find it helpful to be there for and cheer on this family and pray for them as I would for Julia. Through this sweet girl I am reminded of the struggles and the hard days but also of the thankfulness of having such a special baby. I am also reminded to be grateful that Julia progressed past those early days and that she was able to smile and interact and show us her lovely little personality.

I have been busy (staying distracted) working on projects to remember Julia, and some very thoughtful and talented friends are helping as well. The first is this blog, which I began when Julia was nearly 7 months old. I find it to be a very helpful place to remember her and share her with others.  Here I can look backward and forward, and it all seems to fit. I can be mindful of how connected we still are and always will be with Julia. At home we talk about her every day and look at her pictures and videos. We try to surround ourselves with happy memories with Julia.

Julia's Tree
Next, I found a little tree to decorate with seasonal ornaments for Julia (thanks to Lilly's mom for this idea!). The kids can really get into this one, although Sydney still wants to leave the Valentine's Day ornaments up!

Quilt Rack 
Julia's room has been somewhat converted into a guest room so that I can keep it as her room instead of changing it to a nursery for our baby boy. I added a quilt rack to hold some of her sweet blankets. I plan to display a couple of her special dresses on the wall next to her photos and Piggies and Paws prints.

Julia's Dress

Julia's Baby quilt

Another project has been to organize photos. I made sibling photo collages for Sydney's and Isaac's rooms.  They turned out so sweet. I am in the final stages of putting together Julia's photobook/digital scrapbook (I usually create one for the kids every year). And of course there are photos of Julia displayed everywhere!

Finally, I also have some outside help. A group of friends had a beautiful bracelet made for me with Julia's birthstone. I was so touched and honored by their thoughtfulness (thank you to C, S, and T!).  I also have a friend who loves to quilt and has volunteered to make a quilt from Julia's clothes (thank you so much K!). I am so excited about this! Another friend who is a very talented artist offered to paint a portrait of Julia, and I am just thrilled about this, too (thank you, thank you, L!). Thank you to so many of you who continue to remember and celebrate Julia with us and for us.

Mt bracelet with Julia's birthstone

I miss you every minute of every day, dearest Julia. And I am thankful for you every minute of every day.


L said...

Happy 3 months in heaven Julia! I love your memories Jenny - I had recently decided to do the quilt rack too. Wow - i can identify with everything you said in your first paragraph. I thought of that so much yesterday - it was a Thursday and the 15th and 3 months since Lilly died ... Oh how we miss our sweet girls! Love the tree! ;)

JSH said...

What a beautiful post Jenny! Thanks for sharing all the wonderful ways you are remembering Julia. I love the red dress that she wore for her 1st birthday picture. Love, Jenny Scott and Lyndle

Ruthie said...

Jenny, beautiful ways you are celebrating Julia's life and honoring her. Love the artistic rituals you are creating. And I agree with L...Happy 3 months in heaven!! My cousin recently died suddenly and I just know she is loving on Julia and every other child! David and I love you guys and continue to pray for strength in your journey.
Love, Ruth

dayna said...

Thanks for sharing

helenasc said...

I always feel so much love and hope from your writing. I was remembering and praying for you all this afternoon as we plan a trip to see the cherry blossoms. I remember your beautiful pictures among them last year. May you feel peace as you see them this year.

Debbie C said...

Thanks for sharing Jenny. Such wonderful memories of your precious girl! Love to all of you, Ted & Debbie

Miss G said...

Each and every one of these is such a wonderful, precious remembrance! Very creative and I hope a lot of other moms going through a grieving process find this post because I think it would be a wonderful encouragement to them! Kelly

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