Cohen at 18 Months

At 18 months I Can...

- walk

- run

- dribble a soccer ball (in a toddler kind of way)

- say about 30 words

- express my opinion in words and actions

- climb

- follow simple instructions

- eat with my 12-going-on-14 teeth

Likes:

- Sydney and Isaac (or Syd and Iyaac, as Cohen says)

- chocolate

- yogurt

- scrambled eggs

- cars (ride-on and toy cars)

- balls

- outside 

- going to the bus stop

- bath

- dancing 

- books

- "helping" put away the laundry

- playing piano with Sydney

- shoes

- Gymboree class

- playing with his friend Cody

- peekaboo 

Dislikes:

- getting into his car seat

- going to bed

- changing clothes

- diaper changes

- going inside after playing outside

- staying in a cart or stroller for very long

- staying still for photos 

Cohen is a fun little guy who is always on the go. His words are precious to hear and his different tones are very communicative on their own. He keeps us busy, keeps us laughing and smiling, and keeps us young. 

382 Days

382 Days. That's how many days Julia was here with us after she was born. A couple of weeks ago, Cohen passed the 382 days mark. I did not want to think about it or give it much weight, but then he came down with a cold. Julia also came down with a cold five days before she passed away. Although I know there is a world of difference between Cohen's health and Julia's health, I found myself worrying more and more about Cohen and his cold. Just because of the link of 382 days. He was pretty miserable -- fever and congestion, little appetite, wanting to be held 24 hours a day. All things I remember going through with Julia on multiple occasions.
But. He did not need oxygen or breathing treatments to breathe comfortably. He did not get choked up on his secretions and need suctioning. He still easily took in plenty of fluids. He does not have a heart or lung condition. I knew all of this somewhere in my head, but my heart seemed to have a contrary mind of its own. I just had to wait it out. That did not feel like enough. I wanted contingency plans. I wanted a nebulizer and an oxygen concentrator and a bottle of antibiotics. Then I realized that Cohen was not the one who needed those things. I am the one who "needed" them.
Cohen is feeling much much better. He is waving at everyone and saying hi. He enjoyed his first visit to the pool this season. He is into everything. And he is now 400 days old.

Happy Birthday Cohen!

At 1 Year I Can...

Wave and say hi and bye bye

Clap excitedly

Climb up the stairs

"Get" Isaac when mom says (it's too cute-- he goes to Isaac and starts messing with him)

Play peek a boo 

Pick up very tiny things and try to eat them

Try to climb out of the high chair and stroller so I have to be buckled

Clear a dishwasher (not empty, just clear!)

Cruise

Stand

Crawl way too fast

Likes:

Big kids

My ride-on car

Balloons

Push toys

Straws

Stairs 

Mirrors

Books 

Baths with lots of splashing 

Outside

Swings

Drums

Piano

Banging on things (see above)

Dislikes:

Diaper or clothes changes

Lying down (see above)

Grass on my feet

7:30 when I am tired and cranky

What a year! Happy 1st Birthday to our sweet Cohen!

Mother's Day Moments

In 2011, I spent my one Mother's Day with Julia. In 2012, I spent Mother's Day preparing for Cohen's imminent arrival (the following day). This Mother's Day I was filled with memories of both.

Sweet Julia-- I knew that day was precious. Every day with her had to count.  It was a beautiful day and Julia was feeling well.  We had a peaceful day together and enjoyed a walk in the park.

Mother's Day 2011

My little Cohen-- I was anxious and so so ready for his arrival. Ready for my arms and my heart to be full in a way that they hadn't been since Julia passed away. And so Mother's Day 2012 was a day of waiting. After nine long months of pregnancy, five of which were spent mourning the loss of Julia, on Mother's Day I was almost there. He was almost here. My own little rainbow after the storm of losing Julia.

Mother's Day Tea at Isaac's Preschool, 2012

Fast forward to Mother's Day 2013 and Cohen nearing his first birthday. It felt more like a "normal" Mother's Day. It was a beautiful day and we enjoyed a beautiful drive and a visit to historic and quaint  downtown Leesburg. We shopped, we ate lunch, I opened presents. "Normal" things. My big kids were super sweet and so excited about the gifts they picked out for me. They each picked out beautiful necklaces and Sydney was so proud to have used her own money.  I love them.

Mother's Day 2013

Then we came back to our town to attend a Butterfly release in honor of Julia and other children who have passed away. It was hosted by The Compassionate Friends. This part was definitely not what I would think of as a "normal" Mother's Day, but this was a beautiful way to include Julia. Each family released their butterflies as their child's name was read aloud. It was a lovely way to honor lives gone too soon -- lives of beauty, hope, and wings.

Cohen at 11 Months

At 11 Months I  Can...
- Stand alone for 5-7 seconds
- Climb stairs
- Say "hi" when I wave
- Clap and cheer when excited
- Splash enough water out of the bathtub to completely soak nearby towels, clothes, or people
- Drink from a straw

Likes:
- Foods beginning with B: bananas, beans, blueberries, bread
- Riding in my red car
- Watching school buses
- Listening to music
- "Playing" the piano whenever his sister is practicing
- Bath time.  Not just a like. Love the bath.

Dislikes:
- Diapers
- Grass between toes
- Sitting still for pictures

Our rainbow baby is growing up! He will be one year old in less than 2 weeks! So thankful for him every single day.

Cohen at 10 Months

At 10 Months I can....
- Crawl very quickly
- Cruise!
- bite with my 4 teeth
- clap
- wave
- make lots of sounds: mamababadadagagapapa!

Likes
- my siblings!
- my cousins!
- trying to "scare" people by growling
- playing peekaboo
- lift the flap books
- my toy car for riding in
- outside!
- animals
- baths!!!

Dislikes
- being tired
- washing my face

Cohen at 9 Months

At 9 months I can...

- Crawl!!

- Pull to a standing position

- Explore

- Make big messes while exploring

- Wave

- Babble...loudly!

- Weigh in at 20 lbs!

Likes

- Mirrors

- Baths

- Kids

-Pretzel sticks

Dislikes

- Car seat

- Changing clothes

- Slippery floors (makes crawling difficult)

Happy 9 Months to my little Valentine!

Cohen at 8 Months

At 8 months I can...
- Push myself into a sitting position from tummy time position
- Reach, grab, throw, and drop things. Over and over again! :)
- Pull to a stand from sitting
- Crawl backwards! I can move forward, too, but it is less than graceful!

Likes:
- baths
- the kids! (Sydney and Isaac)
- whipped cream
- playing with the Little People Zoo

Dislikes:
- not too sure about avocado. Maybe if we combined it with whipped cream!
- the car seat!
- long naps

Cohen at 7 Months

At 7 months I can...
- sit very well and play
- push up onto my hands and knees and then rock back and forth
- scoot backwards
- wave "Hi"...sometimes
- reach for mommy
- make lots of adorable (and high pitched) sounds

Likes
- mirrors
- spoons
- my toes
- Christmas lights
- wrapping paper
- attention from all of the kids around
- baths

Dislikes
- taking long naps
- falling over

Cohen at 6 Months

At 6 months I can...

- sit up for 5- 10 minutes at a time

- push up onto my hands and knees and rock (ready to crawl?)

- eat lots of pureed fruits and veggies

- grab onto everything with a super tight grip (especially Mommy's and Sydney's hair)

- roll over very quickly

- make lots of sounds

- smile with my 2 teeth!!

- weigh in at 18 lbs 5 oz!

- measure 28 inches tall!

- "say" I have been to the top of the Empire State Building!

Likes:

- Playing with Sydney and Isaac

- Eating bananas, sweet potatoes, carrots, peaches, apples, pears, mangos, squash, and most any combination of the above

- Meeting my cousins

- Touring around in the baby carrier

- Going to museums and places with lots of fun things to look see (Smithsonian Air and Space Museum, Smithsonian Natural History Museum in the last month)

- Being held by Mommy

- Being sung to by Daddy

- Being loved on every morning at the bus stop by the Yasuda girls!

- Christmas tree lights and ornaments

Dislikes:

- Long car rides

- Short car rides

- Peas

- Shots (5 at his last appointment!)

- Changing clothes

Cohen at 5 Months

At 5 Months I Can...

- Eat baby food! So far I really like bananas, pears, apples, and sweet potatoes!

- Use my hands to play with my toes

- Try to pull myself up to sitting in mommy's lap

- Laugh and laugh and laugh

- Play with lots of toys

- Weigh in at 17 lbs!

- Balance and bounce in the exersaucer!

- Almost sit up!

Likes:

- Daddy's silly voices

- Baby food!

- Tickles

- Mommy holding me

- Sydney and Isaac reading, singing, and playing with me

Dislikes:

- Long car rides!

- Peas!

Day 28: Memory

 Day 28: Memory

Today is about sharing a significant memory from my grief journey. One that stands out to me is from the day Cohen was born. He was born on May 14, nearly 5 months to the day from when we lost Julia. I was in the same delivery room/operating room where I delivered Julia 18 months before. I had the same doctors. I was beginning to feel a sense of deja vu. That feeling combined with the effects of the spinal anesthesia made me start to panic and have difficulty breathing. I was missing and grieving Julia and nervous and excited for Cohen's birth and I just did not know how to reconcile those emotions. In that moment, I had to focus on Cohen. I had to focus on him as the gift she gave us to celebrate life. And when he was born and I saw what a big, healthy baby he was, my heart was full of thankfulness for life -- for the lives of all four of my children. 
I love you, Julia.


October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. This national observance month was established in 1988 by President Reagan.  This post is part of Carly Marie's "Capture Your Grief" 31 day photography project for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

Cohen at Four Months

At 4 months I can...

Smile

Laugh

Roll

Balance in the exersaucer

Reach for and grab onto toys

Wear 6-9 month or 6-12 month clothes

Measure in at 15 lbs 12 oz and 25.75 inches

Likes:

Laughing at Isaac

Being held by Sydney

Riding in the baby bjorn or beco carrier

Going for long walks in the stroller

Stuffed animals

Chewing on my hands

Watching the mobile

Playing in the play gym

Exploring the exersaucer

Dislikes:

Diaper changes

Shots!

Being sleepy or hungry

Oh, how we love this boy! 

Week 14

Cohen is getting old enough now for more outings, so this week we enjoyed a couple of days at the pool with Sydney and Isaac and friends. Cohen is growing more and more interactive everyday and it's so much fun to see him respond to each of us. He brings so much joy!

At Three Months...

At 3 months I can...

- smile

- laugh

- coo

- roll...still just sometimes though

- grow so fast -- 13 lbs 12 oz!

- play with my hands

- reach for and grab onto toys 

Likes

- eating

- bouncy seat

- play mat

- baths

- laughing at Daddy

- listening to Sydney sing to me

- watching Isaac play

- being held by Mommy

Dislikes

- long car rides

- car seats

- sleeping or napping by myself

- airports!

Weeks 11 and 12

Cohen's weeks number 11 and 12 were spent visiting family in Alabama. Cohen visited his second beach, this time at St. Andrews State Park in Panama City, Florida. He even took his first boat ride at the beach on his Poppa's boat. We also visited the lake for a weekend. Cohen enjoyed relaxing at Nana's lake house while the big kids tried out the jet ski, tube, and knee board with Uncle Press. We attended the wedding of my cousin, Mollie, and Cohen was able to meet lots of new old friends.
We spent many days playing with the cousins and visiting grandparents and great-grandparents. We had lots of fun and are now glad to be home!

Week 13

We flew home this week and spent the test of the week relaxing and settling back into our regular routine.  Cohen was great on the flight home. He has been glad to be home and see his mobile again! I can tell he has really grown over these last few weeks.  I will attempt to measure him on his three month birthday!

Week 10

Cohen had his 2 month pediatrician visit and vaccines this week. He weighed 12 lbs 4 oz and measured 23 1/4 inches long! Cohen also flew in an airplane for the first time (after missing his originally scheduled flight the same morning, but that's another story...). He behaved beautifully on the flight! He is also enjoying his first visit to Alabama to visit family. He met Great-Granny and Great- Papa at the farm and charmed them with his smiles and coos!

Cohen's Newborn Photos

The very talented Emily at Veralana Photography did a great job of capturing Cohen as a sweet little newborn.  He was only 4 days old when these photos were taken!  I just love them! Here are a few of the precious photos...

Weeks 8 and 9

Week 8: Cohen celebrated his first Fourth of July with a couple of neighborhood parties. It was a hot one, but he was a trooper. He turned in before the big fireworks got started, though.
We had the pleasure to introduce Cohen to Isabella this week. Isabella is 7 months old and, like Julia, has trisomy 18. Seeing these two precious babies together was very special to me. We all love you, Isabella!

Week 9: This week we took our first road trip and beach vacation with Cohen. We were joined at Corolla Beach, NC by Cohen's Nana and Grandad; Aunt Jodie, Uncle Press, cousins Nora, Eli, and Grady; Uncle Jamey and Aunt Naomi; Aunt Jennifer, and Uncle Nathan. It was a full house! Cohen climbed the lighthouse at Corolla (with Daddy's help), visited the giant sand dunes at Jockey's Ridge, and sat on the shore enjoying the sounds of the wind and surf!