Day 16: Seasons

The holidays are approaching. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and my birthday all occur within a month of each other. Add to that my husband's birthday as well as my sister's, mother's, mother-in-law's, cousin's, and step-dad's birthdays. And, most importantly, Julia's birthday. In the midst of so many celebratory days are also the anniversaries of the very hardest days I have experienced- the day of Julia's trisomy 18 diagnosis (Dec 1), the day Julia died (Dec 16), and the day of her memorial service and burial (Dec 20). The holidays are a very challenging time. We try to include Julia in the celebratory parts of the holiday season. We will celebrate her birthday. We hang her stocking and her ornaments. We will be thankful on Thanksgiving and cheerful on Christmas. But we will miss Julia and mourn her. Her absence will be felt more acutely than at any other time of the year. We will get through it and hopefully enjoy many good moments. Cohen will be much more into Christmas, just like his siblings and his cousins. Fun will be had. 

I will be very relieved, though, when January 1 arrives. 

Mother's Day Moments

In 2011, I spent my one Mother's Day with Julia. In 2012, I spent Mother's Day preparing for Cohen's imminent arrival (the following day). This Mother's Day I was filled with memories of both.

Sweet Julia-- I knew that day was precious. Every day with her had to count.  It was a beautiful day and Julia was feeling well.  We had a peaceful day together and enjoyed a walk in the park.

Mother's Day 2011

My little Cohen-- I was anxious and so so ready for his arrival. Ready for my arms and my heart to be full in a way that they hadn't been since Julia passed away. And so Mother's Day 2012 was a day of waiting. After nine long months of pregnancy, five of which were spent mourning the loss of Julia, on Mother's Day I was almost there. He was almost here. My own little rainbow after the storm of losing Julia.

Mother's Day Tea at Isaac's Preschool, 2012

Fast forward to Mother's Day 2013 and Cohen nearing his first birthday. It felt more like a "normal" Mother's Day. It was a beautiful day and we enjoyed a beautiful drive and a visit to historic and quaint  downtown Leesburg. We shopped, we ate lunch, I opened presents. "Normal" things. My big kids were super sweet and so excited about the gifts they picked out for me. They each picked out beautiful necklaces and Sydney was so proud to have used her own money.  I love them.

Mother's Day 2013

Then we came back to our town to attend a Butterfly release in honor of Julia and other children who have passed away. It was hosted by The Compassionate Friends. This part was definitely not what I would think of as a "normal" Mother's Day, but this was a beautiful way to include Julia. Each family released their butterflies as their child's name was read aloud. It was a lovely way to honor lives gone too soon -- lives of beauty, hope, and wings.

Cohen at 9 Months

At 9 months I can...

- Crawl!!

- Pull to a standing position

- Explore

- Make big messes while exploring

- Wave

- Babble...loudly!

- Weigh in at 20 lbs!

Likes

- Mirrors

- Baths

- Kids

-Pretzel sticks

Dislikes

- Car seat

- Changing clothes

- Slippery floors (makes crawling difficult)

Happy 9 Months to my little Valentine!

Christmas Card 2012

Stationery card

View the entire collection of cards.

Cohen at 7 Months

At 7 months I can...
- sit very well and play
- push up onto my hands and knees and then rock back and forth
- scoot backwards
- wave "Hi"...sometimes
- reach for mommy
- make lots of adorable (and high pitched) sounds

Likes
- mirrors
- spoons
- my toes
- Christmas lights
- wrapping paper
- attention from all of the kids around
- baths

Dislikes
- taking long naps
- falling over

Halloween 2012 Photos

Halloween 2012

Pumpkin

Hermione Granger

Luke Skywalker

Getting ready to trick or treat!

My Pumpkin Patch

My Halloween Pumpkins!

 All four kids have now worn the same pumpkin as their first Halloween costume.  

For the girls it was a little big, and for the boys it was a little small.  

But they all look pretty cute!

Sydney's 4th of July

Sydney requested the opportunity to write another blog post, so here it is!

On the 4th, we had two parties to go to. The first party was at the Wilson's pipestem. It had a hill and lots of toy vehicles to drive around in. I also went in the bounce house that had standing foam obstacles and a slide! In the food section I got some lemonade ,a plain tortilla, and a hot dog. Yum! After that party we went to the cookout in the pipestem nearest to us. We played in Georgia and Reed's backyard. A while later, I ate some Doritos and a cupcake and the fruit kabobs we brought. Then the exploding things (fireworks) started! There were tiny fireworks that shot out of strange sticks, colorful smoke bombs, sparklers, and small fire works. Starting at 9:00 were the really big fire works!
Happy 4th of July!!!

By Sydney R. C.

July 4th

Remembering our Julia from last July -- she was especially smiley on this day at the lake! I love this photo of her in her red, white, and blue swimsuit! We miss our girl so much -- sending you much love and hugs, Julia!

Today we are also remembering sweet Lilly, aka "Little Firecracker" on her birthday. She and Julia arrived in heaven only hours apart. Sending hugs to Lilly and to Lilly's family on this special day.

Mother's Day Memories

Last Mother's Day was the only Mother's Day I had with Julia. We had a relaxed and wonderful morning at home, and then we decided to go to a local park and stroll around the lake.  The weather was perfect, and Julia was very content.  When she was content, I was content.  I am very thankful to have had such a special day with my three oldest kids.  I miss you so much this year, sweet pea.

Mother's Day 2011

Marc and Julia, May 8, 2011

Easter Photos

Memories of Easter 2011...

Our Family, Easter 2011

Cousins

Sweet Siblings

Cousins with Nana and Grandad

New Memories of Easter 2012...

Julia's tree decorated for Easter/spring

Valentines Day 2012

Our Sweetest Valentine

Valentines Day 2011 in pictures...

Sweeter than chocolate. Prettier than roses. More precious than diamonds.

We carry your heart in our hearts. We love you forever, our sweetest Valentine!

Our 2011 Christmas Card

We miss you, sweet baby. My heart is with you.

Thanksgiving

Since moving to VA our Thanksgiving routine has changed. Previously we would drive from Maryland to Kentucky to be with Marc's extended family. That was when Syd was in preschool and we could travel more freely. When we moved here, Sydney began kindergarten. That first year she was sick, and we had to cancel our trip. We discovered how nice it could be to relax at home instead of being on the road. Last year I was pregnant with Julia and on bed rest and unable to travel. We enjoyed a quiet and delicious Thanksgiving with my mom and some dear friends in our area. This year we just are not up to making the 10 hour trip with Julia over a four day weekend. And then there's the traffic in and out of the DC area to consider. It is truly a nightmare on a holiday weekend. While I'm a bit sad we have missed out on Thanksgiving in Kentucky for a few years now, I realize this is just another part of our new normal. We have gladly made and will continue to make the necessary adjustments to our life with Julia. Hopefully we can make a trip to Kentucky next summer sometime when school is out, the roads are less crowded, and it is not flu season.

This year my sister and her kids and my mom and stepdad joined us for Thanksgiving.  It was so nice to be at home and to not feel rushed to visit lots of people on the big day.  We did, however, overdo things a little by cooking for way more than the five adults and four children (plus Grady and Julia) who would be eating Thanksgiving dinner.  Everything was delicious, though, and we are working our way through some yummy leftovers.  The kids had a blast playing with their cousins, and the weather here was in the 60s and sunny (usually it's pretty cold by this time of year). 

We have much to be thankful for this year.  Mostly we are thankful to have Julia here with us.  I do feel a bit like I imagine the settlers did at the first Thanksgiving -- thankful to have made it through a very difficult year.  Its more like marking the passage of this year than a celebration.  We of course celebrate each day we have with Julia.  The accumulation of a year's worth of days is weighty, though, and I have felt that weight alongside my thankfulness this holiday .  I want to focus on the good of this year, but I feel that the good in this year cannot be seen or valued without noting the struggles.  Hopefully these ramblings make some sense.

We ended our week of Thanksgiving fun with an early birthday celebration for Julia before everyone had to leave for home.  Julia was a good sport as we sang happy birthday twice, made her wear a party hat, and opened her presents!  Of course she had a lot of help from her siblings and cousins!  We look forward to celebrating Julia's amazing birthday all week!