Cohen at 18 Months

At 18 months I Can...

- walk

- run

- dribble a soccer ball (in a toddler kind of way)

- say about 30 words

- express my opinion in words and actions

- climb

- follow simple instructions

- eat with my 12-going-on-14 teeth

Likes:

- Sydney and Isaac (or Syd and Iyaac, as Cohen says)

- chocolate

- yogurt

- scrambled eggs

- cars (ride-on and toy cars)

- balls

- outside 

- going to the bus stop

- bath

- dancing 

- books

- "helping" put away the laundry

- playing piano with Sydney

- shoes

- Gymboree class

- playing with his friend Cody

- peekaboo 

Dislikes:

- getting into his car seat

- going to bed

- changing clothes

- diaper changes

- going inside after playing outside

- staying in a cart or stroller for very long

- staying still for photos 

Cohen is a fun little guy who is always on the go. His words are precious to hear and his different tones are very communicative on their own. He keeps us busy, keeps us laughing and smiling, and keeps us young. 

382 Days

382 Days. That's how many days Julia was here with us after she was born. A couple of weeks ago, Cohen passed the 382 days mark. I did not want to think about it or give it much weight, but then he came down with a cold. Julia also came down with a cold five days before she passed away. Although I know there is a world of difference between Cohen's health and Julia's health, I found myself worrying more and more about Cohen and his cold. Just because of the link of 382 days. He was pretty miserable -- fever and congestion, little appetite, wanting to be held 24 hours a day. All things I remember going through with Julia on multiple occasions.
But. He did not need oxygen or breathing treatments to breathe comfortably. He did not get choked up on his secretions and need suctioning. He still easily took in plenty of fluids. He does not have a heart or lung condition. I knew all of this somewhere in my head, but my heart seemed to have a contrary mind of its own. I just had to wait it out. That did not feel like enough. I wanted contingency plans. I wanted a nebulizer and an oxygen concentrator and a bottle of antibiotics. Then I realized that Cohen was not the one who needed those things. I am the one who "needed" them.
Cohen is feeling much much better. He is waving at everyone and saying hi. He enjoyed his first visit to the pool this season. He is into everything. And he is now 400 days old.

Happy Birthday Cohen!

At 1 Year I Can...

Wave and say hi and bye bye

Clap excitedly

Climb up the stairs

"Get" Isaac when mom says (it's too cute-- he goes to Isaac and starts messing with him)

Play peek a boo 

Pick up very tiny things and try to eat them

Try to climb out of the high chair and stroller so I have to be buckled

Clear a dishwasher (not empty, just clear!)

Cruise

Stand

Crawl way too fast

Likes:

Big kids

My ride-on car

Balloons

Push toys

Straws

Stairs 

Mirrors

Books 

Baths with lots of splashing 

Outside

Swings

Drums

Piano

Banging on things (see above)

Dislikes:

Diaper or clothes changes

Lying down (see above)

Grass on my feet

7:30 when I am tired and cranky

What a year! Happy 1st Birthday to our sweet Cohen!

Mother's Day Moments

In 2011, I spent my one Mother's Day with Julia. In 2012, I spent Mother's Day preparing for Cohen's imminent arrival (the following day). This Mother's Day I was filled with memories of both.

Sweet Julia-- I knew that day was precious. Every day with her had to count.  It was a beautiful day and Julia was feeling well.  We had a peaceful day together and enjoyed a walk in the park.

Mother's Day 2011

My little Cohen-- I was anxious and so so ready for his arrival. Ready for my arms and my heart to be full in a way that they hadn't been since Julia passed away. And so Mother's Day 2012 was a day of waiting. After nine long months of pregnancy, five of which were spent mourning the loss of Julia, on Mother's Day I was almost there. He was almost here. My own little rainbow after the storm of losing Julia.

Mother's Day Tea at Isaac's Preschool, 2012

Fast forward to Mother's Day 2013 and Cohen nearing his first birthday. It felt more like a "normal" Mother's Day. It was a beautiful day and we enjoyed a beautiful drive and a visit to historic and quaint  downtown Leesburg. We shopped, we ate lunch, I opened presents. "Normal" things. My big kids were super sweet and so excited about the gifts they picked out for me. They each picked out beautiful necklaces and Sydney was so proud to have used her own money.  I love them.

Mother's Day 2013

Then we came back to our town to attend a Butterfly release in honor of Julia and other children who have passed away. It was hosted by The Compassionate Friends. This part was definitely not what I would think of as a "normal" Mother's Day, but this was a beautiful way to include Julia. Each family released their butterflies as their child's name was read aloud. It was a lovely way to honor lives gone too soon -- lives of beauty, hope, and wings.

Cohen at 11 Months

At 11 Months I  Can...
- Stand alone for 5-7 seconds
- Climb stairs
- Say "hi" when I wave
- Clap and cheer when excited
- Splash enough water out of the bathtub to completely soak nearby towels, clothes, or people
- Drink from a straw

Likes:
- Foods beginning with B: bananas, beans, blueberries, bread
- Riding in my red car
- Watching school buses
- Listening to music
- "Playing" the piano whenever his sister is practicing
- Bath time.  Not just a like. Love the bath.

Dislikes:
- Diapers
- Grass between toes
- Sitting still for pictures

Our rainbow baby is growing up! He will be one year old in less than 2 weeks! So thankful for him every single day.

Cherry Blossoms 2013

The arrival of cherry blossoms is my absolute favorite time of the year in Washington DC. We try every year to make the 20 mile trek downtown to see the cherry blossoms blooming around the Tidal Basin in DC. Some years it is cold. Some years it is rainy. Some years it is perfect weather. This year the weather was perfect when the blooms arrived. Knowing that the peak window for the blooms is only a few days, the kids and I decided to go see them early one morning last week before school. The trees did not disappoint! (Parking is a different story!) I am so thankful that every year at this time I can remember that we shared this special time with Julia.  I think I will always associate cherry blossoms with Julia. I like that. This year was Cohen's first visit to see the trees and he was a trooper!  We had a wonderful morning and even managed to make it back to school only a bit late. :)

2011

2011

Cohen at 10 Months

At 10 Months I can....
- Crawl very quickly
- Cruise!
- bite with my 4 teeth
- clap
- wave
- make lots of sounds: mamababadadagagapapa!

Likes
- my siblings!
- my cousins!
- trying to "scare" people by growling
- playing peekaboo
- lift the flap books
- my toy car for riding in
- outside!
- animals
- baths!!!

Dislikes
- being tired
- washing my face

Cohen at 9 Months

At 9 months I can...

- Crawl!!

- Pull to a standing position

- Explore

- Make big messes while exploring

- Wave

- Babble...loudly!

- Weigh in at 20 lbs!

Likes

- Mirrors

- Baths

- Kids

-Pretzel sticks

Dislikes

- Car seat

- Changing clothes

- Slippery floors (makes crawling difficult)

Happy 9 Months to my little Valentine!

Snow Day

Recently we had a few snowflakes fall and stick for a couple of days. After the blizzards we had in the winter of 2010, snow has been scarce here. This was actually our first snowfall since we lost Julia as well as our first dunce Cohen was born.
I thought Cohen should experience his first snowfall and Sydney and Isaac couldn't wait to play outside. Cohen was not too sure about the cold air and the cold, wet stuff we kept sitting him in and putting on his fingers. Oh well! Hopefully we will have lots more snow for him to enjoy.

Cohen at 8 Months

At 8 months I can...
- Push myself into a sitting position from tummy time position
- Reach, grab, throw, and drop things. Over and over again! :)
- Pull to a stand from sitting
- Crawl backwards! I can move forward, too, but it is less than graceful!

Likes:
- baths
- the kids! (Sydney and Isaac)
- whipped cream
- playing with the Little People Zoo

Dislikes:
- not too sure about avocado. Maybe if we combined it with whipped cream!
- the car seat!
- long naps

Cohen at 7 Months

At 7 months I can...
- sit very well and play
- push up onto my hands and knees and then rock back and forth
- scoot backwards
- wave "Hi"...sometimes
- reach for mommy
- make lots of adorable (and high pitched) sounds

Likes
- mirrors
- spoons
- my toes
- Christmas lights
- wrapping paper
- attention from all of the kids around
- baths

Dislikes
- taking long naps
- falling over

Cohen at 6 Months

At 6 months I can...

- sit up for 5- 10 minutes at a time

- push up onto my hands and knees and rock (ready to crawl?)

- eat lots of pureed fruits and veggies

- grab onto everything with a super tight grip (especially Mommy's and Sydney's hair)

- roll over very quickly

- make lots of sounds

- smile with my 2 teeth!!

- weigh in at 18 lbs 5 oz!

- measure 28 inches tall!

- "say" I have been to the top of the Empire State Building!

Likes:

- Playing with Sydney and Isaac

- Eating bananas, sweet potatoes, carrots, peaches, apples, pears, mangos, squash, and most any combination of the above

- Meeting my cousins

- Touring around in the baby carrier

- Going to museums and places with lots of fun things to look see (Smithsonian Air and Space Museum, Smithsonian Natural History Museum in the last month)

- Being held by Mommy

- Being sung to by Daddy

- Being loved on every morning at the bus stop by the Yasuda girls!

- Christmas tree lights and ornaments

Dislikes:

- Long car rides

- Short car rides

- Peas

- Shots (5 at his last appointment!)

- Changing clothes

Halloween 2012 Photos

Halloween 2012

Pumpkin

Hermione Granger

Luke Skywalker

Getting ready to trick or treat!

My Pumpkin Patch

My Halloween Pumpkins!

 All four kids have now worn the same pumpkin as their first Halloween costume.  

For the girls it was a little big, and for the boys it was a little small.  

But they all look pretty cute!

Cohen at 5 Months

At 5 Months I Can...

- Eat baby food! So far I really like bananas, pears, apples, and sweet potatoes!

- Use my hands to play with my toes

- Try to pull myself up to sitting in mommy's lap

- Laugh and laugh and laugh

- Play with lots of toys

- Weigh in at 17 lbs!

- Balance and bounce in the exersaucer!

- Almost sit up!

Likes:

- Daddy's silly voices

- Baby food!

- Tickles

- Mommy holding me

- Sydney and Isaac reading, singing, and playing with me

Dislikes:

- Long car rides!

- Peas!

Day 28: Memory

 Day 28: Memory

Today is about sharing a significant memory from my grief journey. One that stands out to me is from the day Cohen was born. He was born on May 14, nearly 5 months to the day from when we lost Julia. I was in the same delivery room/operating room where I delivered Julia 18 months before. I had the same doctors. I was beginning to feel a sense of deja vu. That feeling combined with the effects of the spinal anesthesia made me start to panic and have difficulty breathing. I was missing and grieving Julia and nervous and excited for Cohen's birth and I just did not know how to reconcile those emotions. In that moment, I had to focus on Cohen. I had to focus on him as the gift she gave us to celebrate life. And when he was born and I saw what a big, healthy baby he was, my heart was full of thankfulness for life -- for the lives of all four of my children. 
I love you, Julia.


October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. This national observance month was established in 1988 by President Reagan.  This post is part of Carly Marie's "Capture Your Grief" 31 day photography project for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

Day 24: Siblings

 Day 24: Siblings

Sydney, Isaac, Julia - Dec 2010

Feb 2011

April 2011

July 2011

Sydney, Isaac, Julia - Nov 2011

Sydney, Isaac, and Cohen

To read a post written by big sister Sydney earlier this year, please click here.


October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. This national observance month was established in 1988 by President Reagan.  This post is part of Carly Marie's "Capture Your Grief" 31 day photography project for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

Basket Photos

Here are a few of our Cohen in a basket photos...

These are reminiscent of our Isaac in a basket photos...

and the Julia in a basket photos...

and last, but certainly not least, Sydney in a basket.