382 Days

382 Days. That's how many days Julia was here with us after she was born. A couple of weeks ago, Cohen passed the 382 days mark. I did not want to think about it or give it much weight, but then he came down with a cold. Julia also came down with a cold five days before she passed away. Although I know there is a world of difference between Cohen's health and Julia's health, I found myself worrying more and more about Cohen and his cold. Just because of the link of 382 days. He was pretty miserable -- fever and congestion, little appetite, wanting to be held 24 hours a day. All things I remember going through with Julia on multiple occasions.
But. He did not need oxygen or breathing treatments to breathe comfortably. He did not get choked up on his secretions and need suctioning. He still easily took in plenty of fluids. He does not have a heart or lung condition. I knew all of this somewhere in my head, but my heart seemed to have a contrary mind of its own. I just had to wait it out. That did not feel like enough. I wanted contingency plans. I wanted a nebulizer and an oxygen concentrator and a bottle of antibiotics. Then I realized that Cohen was not the one who needed those things. I am the one who "needed" them.
Cohen is feeling much much better. He is waving at everyone and saying hi. He enjoyed his first visit to the pool this season. He is into everything. And he is now 400 days old.